The Four Agreements with Don Miguel Ruiz
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When I first read the four agreements it seemed that it was such a simple set of rules to live by. I wondered why everyone didn’t live by these rules and why someone did not publish these rules sooner. After working with these rules I found how tremendously hard they actually were to implement. Some were harder than others and depending on who you are different rules will be harder to use.
I have never considered myself to be a liar, other than the little white lies that are told in hopes of sparing someone’s feelings. You will find that certain parts are so integrated into your life that they are difficult to stop.
The Four Agreements are:
Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
So many of us easily put ourselves down or others down. It is commonplace to criticize others whether it is “that person is a jerk” or a random comment on someone’s looks. It is nearly impossible to talk with a family member about the everyday events without gossiping or criticizing someone. We all have our opinions and we do not hesitate to voice them. If we pay attention to our words it is possible over time to correct this behavior.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
It is so easy to take offense when talking to people. Since most people are not practicing being impeccable with their word as in the first agreement they are usually offering their opinion about you or someone else. If someone is having a bad day and you encounter them in your day they will undoubtedly say something to upset you. If you realize that it is their reality and not yours takes it personally
Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
This is possibly the hardest of the four agreements to enact. When you actively try to stop assuming you will see that a large part of your day is spent assuming. You assume what others are thinking or how they will react to a particular situation. In many cases we give ourselves anxiety over assuming how a situation will play out. When we actually are involved with the situation we often find that all of the anxiety was for nothing. In many cases we find that things actually went very smoothly. Imagine how much better we would feel is we were to stop assuming. Just taking events as they come and stop playing out the scenarios ahead of time. The worst part of this is that we seem to play out the worst situations the most.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret?
Your best and my best are going to be different in any given situation. If you make every effort in any given situation to do your best then you can always feel good about it. After all you cannot expect to do better than your best.
These four agreements offer a simple way to make your life better. They do however take some effort to actually enact them. It will take being conscious of them in your day to day living to make the changes necessary. You will find that your life will go smoother by continuing to use these agreements on a day to day basis.